vlogging changed my life, yo!

hey blog!

i nearly forgot about you already! can you believe it??? i know!

hmm... a song... a song... here's one i like!

Nico Vega - So So Fresh by ChelseaIRL

i just love the energy of that song! it's just bursting! oh, and fun fact: i usually am listening to whatever song i put at the top while i write the rest of the blog. bonus fact: i put the song at the top so you can hit play and listen to it while you read.

there is just not enough time in the day, you know that? i didn't even go to work today, and yet it feels like i'm still just as behind as without a day off! too many things to do! :/

i must admit, i'm not in much of a blogging mood, all. but that's because i'm working on my #secretproject right now and i want to be thinking about that, and i can't talk about it here. at least not till Thursday. so...

what shall we talk about blog? oh! we can talk about how i never did post my 5 part VidCon video! i'm kinda at the point that i think no one cares. so, if anyone still actually cares for me to post it, then i'll finish editing it. otherwise it'll just be another thing that sits quietly on my hard drive. there is a small collection of things there. ideas that never came to fruition. poor abandoned videos.

thinking of videos, i really would like to start vlogging more often. i really don't think i do so often enough. especially considering i only have my channel and 7NAP. and 7NAP is never a chore. i mean, sometimes i don't feel like vlogging, but i'd rather do it than not.

i've been thinking a lot about persona lately. reality vs. perception. my goal in my vlogs is always to be what you get in real life in the present realm. because i think that's kind of the hardest thing to achieve in a vlog. an actual, accurate representation of yourself. i mean, we all edit out the worst parts. so you're never really getting the real picture. so my new approach to vlogging is to cut the time of filming. if i want to make a video that's 4 minutes long, then i should record for no longer than 5 minutes. i mean, there are obviously gonna be moments where i pause and such, but overall i want to keep everything i do in. that way you get the real me. so yeah, that's the plan. vlog more often and take less time to do it.

ok, i'm about to get rather corny right now, so just skip the next paragraph if you have a weak stomach, but i really think that VidCon changed me. something about spending three days straight surrounded by people who think like you, like the same things you like, and just generally like being nice to each other... it's like you can't believe such a thing could be possible until you live in it. and it also makes you kind of feel validated in a way. like, so yeah, none of the people that surround you in your present life get you. but there are literally hundreds of people who are just like you, so it doesn't really matter. it's like, "well, you can look at me weird all you want. cuz i know that these other hundred people like what i'm doing." and that confidence is the way i've changed. it's not some HUGE change. i'm not a different person. i'm just a lot more secure about being that person.

a strange, but relevant example is music. i've always been very self-conscious about my musical taste. i really do believe that music says something about what kind of person you are. so i'm kind of afraid that people will judge me if i don't like the right music or something. in other words, before VidCon, i would NEVER have decided to stick songs i like in all of my blogs for a month. i mean, now and then to convey a certain emotion, but EVERY day?! NO WAY! that leaves me way to exposed!!! but now, it's ok.

alright, so now that we've come full circle, i think i can bid you good night, and go back to working on something that you will (hopefully) think is awesome! :)