bitchin! (an adaptation)

so early this morning i wrote a blog. and that was all good and fine but APPARENTLY that was just NOT ENOUGH for me! no! i needed to do something! i needed to express myself even MORE SO! and really, kids, there's only one way to sufficiently accomplish that: VLOGGING!!!!

so here it is. yesterdays this morning's blog. in vlog format.



booyah!

yeah, we're gonna pretend that little interjection there never happened. it's forgotten already, right? what interjection? don't even know what i'm talking about. <3

bitchin!

that title is a misleading attention grabber. i dropped the "g" at the end to make it sound like it was gonna be something cool when i'm really gonna bitch. but i think i've made it up to you now by having this moment of full disclosure. (still friends?)

so, i just realized that i still haven't shown you my new car! which is mental!



wait! WHAT?!?!

yeah. that's my car. 7 days old. a whopping 242 miles. some stupid Russian guy thought it might be a good idea if he made his left turn while i drove through the intersection. i know, genius, right!? i couldn't believe my luck either!

so i have to wait till Dec 7th (FUCKING ANNIVERSARY OF PEARL HARBOR! that doesn't sound like a good omen!) till i can see it looking like this again. :/



in other news, it's the American Thanksgiving! like today. except like, not. cuz in my opinion right now is it's still night. as in i woke up in the midst of my slumbers and decided blogging was one of those things that i needed to do now. but after i resume my sleep and then wake up at a more normal hour (ie. not at 2:30am), THEN it will be Thanksgiving. or at least that's when it will have registered as such in my mind.

just a quick fun fact. since, you know, this is my blog and all. and you might expect to find out information about me here. quick fun fact: Thanksgiving is my SECOND favorite holiday, surpassed only by Halloween! ...oh! you thought i was gonna say Christmas, didn't you!? silly reader... friend... stalker?... you should know i wouldn't go for a holiday as tawdry as Christmas! goodness! what kind of my blog reader are you? clearly not a very diligent one. ...or very perceptive. i'm willing to accept perhaps you are diligent yet not very perceptive. that's an acceptable answer. though not a preferable one. but more on holidays (and possibly more inquiry as to your allegiance) in later blog posts!

Happy Thanksgiving, all! :)

YouTube is magic

YouTube is magic.

i'm sure i've written this sentiment before, but i have no problem reiterating.

YouTube is magic.

i had one of those nights where you sit down at your computer at a decent hour to be sitting down at your computer (8:30-9pm) and you don't stop watching the YouTubes until midnight. i started at Black Box TV, then to 7NAP, then to the latest from Dome, then to the latest Frezned, then some older Frezned, then Meekakitty (who i hadn't watched before!), then a Whataboutadam (who i also hadn't watched before), then back to Meekakitty. she's psycho! i now LOVE her! i mean, i thought she was pretty cool when i met her in person at VidCon, but seeing her vlogs and knowing who she is... well, she's epic!

and that's just how YouTube goes, ya know. you can even meet someone for real, "IRL" (i still hate that phrase. but it's your name. shut up! we're not talking about that.), and STILL not really not know them without seeing their vlogs. is that what life is now? no one will be real to me unless i've seen their vlogs?

i think vlogs say something about a person. how alike they are to their vlogs vs. how much is scripted is rather telling i think. like, i try to be very much myself in my vlogs. or at least show the more energetic side of me. cuz my calm side would be boring. XD but yeah, you see Meekakitty in person and it's the same as she is in vlogs. but you see Alex Day (Nerimon) and he's just really calm. he like, takes his energy level up a notch. literally! he jumps up and down a few times to get the blood flowing. it's like... watching a transformation. but a very subtle one. it's not that it's a farce, more like a facet. it's real, but it's just one side that he's turned to. i think i do so as well, but in a far less extreme sense. i think my calm and energetic are probably less extreme than his. and Meekakitty seems not to have facets. she just is. which is awesome.

but all of that was NOT THE POINT! the point was, it's amazing how YouTube is this thing full of interesting people to watch, you just haven't found them yet. it's packed with awesome that is free to access if you have the time. and it's interactive! there's nothing else in the world like it!

my money is like... well the money situation is looking grimmer than a few months ago. but i do know one thing: i'm going to VidCon. (and i'll be staying in a hotel this time. definitely with Tiff. but hopefully also with Meg and Lydia. also with whoever else will fit in our floorspace. but this is neither here nor there.) it was the most amazing experience of my life and i know next year can only surpass it. and i would be cheating myself NOT to go.

also, i'm going to be vlogging. cuz it does the body good. or at least it does the brain and possibly the social situation (if you're a nerd like me) good. and even if it didn't, i just like it. there's nothing like vlogging and when i don't do it, i miss it.

so after tomorrow, 4 day weekend, yo! and Thanksgiving. fits into that 4 day weekend. so turkey. and eating. and awesome. and stuff. yeah.

anyway. it's late, and i need to sleep now. so i'm gonna do that. later! ^_^

oops!

when you're sitting at a stop light, minding your own business, and a pick-up truck plows into the back of your car, this is what it looks like.


so kids, don't try this at home. or anywhere else either. cuz it's not fun. :/

creeper

my manager is a creeper.

he knocks on the door at 9 pm. me and my mom exchange glances. i answer the door and he says, "can you move your car over a bit?"
so i think mom must have parked really crooked and the neighbor must be sitting down there stuck. so i say, "ok, i'll move it now." he just stands there. and i shut the door. he starts talking as the door closes.
my mom is like, "put on a sweater and cover yourself." since i'm not wearing a bra.
i don't think it's necessary, but i put on a sweater and some shoes and he's WAITING FOR ME in the elevator. and i'm thinking, that's weird. and i'm so glad i listened to my mom. and i wrap the sweater around me. and like, what? are you making sure i really do go move my car? why are you here?
the neighbor was not there. her car was parked. our car was crooked. but not even as bad as it's been before. i get in and straighten the car out. this is a simple enough task. or at least it would have been if the manager hadn't been STANDING BEHIND MY CAR!
he would call himself "guiding me." i had to ignore what he was saying completely and just try to make sure i didn't hit him. i straightened out, but i wanted to move further away from my neighbors car. i put the car in reverse and had to wait while the manager crossed behind my car. then he stood in the space i needed to pull closer to the left.
then he wanted to chatterbox back to my floor on the elevator.
so, my neighbor was parked and didn't need me to straighten the car out. he just wanted to... what? i don't know what the fuck that was about.
he is ALWAYS being inappropriate! i could give a million examples right now, but i don't want this to turn into a full-fledged rant. :/

a rant

this is not a "my feelings are hurt" rant. this is not a "it's unfair" rant. this is a "why am i stuck with a fucking child as a boss" rant.

not boss 1 (thank god!) or the youngest, boss 3. but boss 2, boss 1's brother.

father and son are out of town, thus leaving me only with boss 2. this already makes me go, "ugh!" but that is not the problem.

it is boss 2's birthday today. as with everyone's birthday, he got a cake. one of my other co-workers is notorious for taking a large slice of cake and sometimes returning for seconds. just to be a dick (though i'm sure if you hear his version it was to be funny) boss 2 waited to cut the first slice, just to make said co-worker wait. we're setting the stage here mind you. the rant is about to begin.

so he finally does cut the cake, and presents the first piece to my office mate. and she says, "the first piece? i feel special." and boss 2 says, "you are special, (name here)." it's not that he did something nice. it's that he does these things and is specifically not nice to me. ever. and it is punctuated by how whenever ANYONE ELSE does nice things, they always do them for each of us. ALWAYS.

some days he just comes in and says, "good morning, (name here)!" with extra vigor. then doesn't even look at me. but this one took extra effort. and i just have to say:

seriously? what are you trying to get out of this? what is the goal? cuz honestly, the only thing you're achieving is me wanting (even more) to be far away from you. if you have some problem with me, i don't have control over it, and you need to sort it out.

it's just so annoying to have to work with someone like this. and it's not like i can just avoid him entirely (as i would like to) because he's a boss. ugh! and he NEVER takes a day off! i hope something happens so that i only work in the back and don't have to be in the front office and deal with him. he's such a vile person!

...you know what? from now on, we shall refer to him as "douche master." i don't expect he'll be appearing in my blog very often, but when he does, "douche master" shall be his name.

personal swarm

i don't like eating lunch at work. i drive around the block, park in the shade, and eat my lunch in my car. then i listen to a podcast, or read, or talk on the phone, whatever.

it's rather hot today so i rolled my windows down to catch the breeze. so i'm eating my lunch when a bee starts trying to get into my car. i close my windows, making it immediately 10 degrees hotter in the car and wait for a full minute for the bee to lose interest. it's nearly boiling by the time i get to open my window again.

it's not thirty seconds before another bee comes and takes its full minute to try to bake me alive. but it finally loses interest too, and i roll my windows down again.

the car hasn't had a chance to cool back down completely before a hornet turns up. while i'm waiting for the hornet to leave, more bees show up. all the while it's getting hotter in the car.

a mail truck, a vehicle with no doors, is parked a little ways down the street. it's been there a few minutes and i see the mail carrier casually get out and walk to the back of the truck. which communicates to me that he is NOT being plagued by a handful of bees and hornets. this is an isolated incident.

i give up and drive back to work. :(

Cillian

"I love talking about nothing. It's the only thing i know anything about - Oscar Wilde
I saw that on a Cillian movie!"

those are the text messages i received from my mother. my mother is fucking AWESOME! if you don't know who Cillian is, then we simply aren't friends.

sister, project

so, i know i don't really mention it, but i have a sister. a half sister. she's like, 6 years older than me and lives in Kalamazoo. something we have in common, maybe it's genetic, we're not good with communication. i mean, once we're talking we can go on and on. it's just that you have to get us talking first.

so, i'm REALLY bad at communication. those of you reading this blog may disagree. you may be thinking about how you've never had a problem communicating with me. and i'd have to tell you that there's a very good reason for this: i'm REALLY trying!!!

i mean, i am NOT USED to trying. i'm kind of a "we'll talk when we get around to it" kind of person. but i don't really want to be that kind of person anymore. and getting back to people first chance i get is part of that change.

long story short, i talked to my sister yesterday. and we hadn't talked in like, a month or two. and i don't know her very well. we've only been in contact for about a year now. not very long at all. but we now have a plan to talk to each other every other Sunday. which i like. cuz it's kind of nice having another sibling. :) especially when your sister is this really nice person who is always trying to find good things to be doing. like, she takes on charity projects. and the company she works for is a charity. and, yeah, she's kind of awesome. i'm glad she's a nice person and not... i don't know. it would suck to talk to your sister and find out she's vapid and evil. i mean, this could have gone in the complete opposite direction. this could've been a blog about how horrified i am at what a horrible person she is. but she's not. so... yay!

also, i'm always doing some sort of project now. which i like. i really do. i have one more thing to do for hotnerdsexy, and then i only have to worry about producing episodes for a while. :) oh, yeah! i redesigned the website! check it out: hotnerdsexy.com

i'm really proud of that site! i've never designed a website before, so... yeah. happy it turned out so well. :)

ok, it's time to leave the working. so i will be to talking some other times, yeah? hopefully soon. hopefully with even more stuff accomplished that i can update about. :)

...there were a lot of smileys in this blog. and it turned out disjointed due to time constraints. :/ ah, well.

dull dreaming

"sitting under my desk, making swirls in my cocoa."

that is how i would like to update my twitter status. unfortunately, i work in the front office, so instead i am limited to only making swirls. no sub-desk adventures for me. :/

wow. if i didn't work in the front and have to be presentable, my co-workers would think i was insane. ...well, considerably more insane than they think i am now.

so, hi blog. i was feeling a bit down last time i visited. and it wasn't that i was being cryptic about it or anything. it's just that's how low i felt. i couldn't even fathom the words to describe how i felt. i feel a bit better now, though.

as always, i'm working on side projects. right now i'm working on the #hotnerdsexy website. by the time i'm done it's going to be very clean and simple. and all things considered that is proving to be a bit difficult. the thing is, i keep thinking of things it would be cool to do and then having to figure out how to do them. i need to focus on doing the re-launch, and then worrying about the bells and whistles. but alas, i am forever getting ahead of myself.

thinking of #hns, we're recording a new episode today! i think it's gonna be better than last episode. everything was out of sorts last episode. kinda sub-par. this episode will be much better. even with me feeling kinda sleepy. i'm gonna get caffeinated on my way home. :)

i still feel like #hns could use something, but i don't know what yet. ah well. we'll come across it soon enough.

so now i've got 20 minutes left of work. and i really felt like leaving early today. the only reason i didn't is because i came in late. so i figured it'd be best to stick it out. though it would have been much easier to stick it out from under my desk. the light wouldn't be as bright down there. i could drape my sweater over the front and make an office fort. and i could see who's coming and be able to deflect them with ease. (mostly by calling out in a small, muffled voice, "no one's here!") it would be awesome.

ok. it's only been five minutes since our last time check, but i've had enough. i'm gonna assume no one will care or notice if i'm gone in the next 5 minutes.

*escapes*

low

i'm feeling kinda low today. i just really wish my friends were ITPR. i usually don't feel sad, cuz i know i'll get to meet them all eventually. i pretend that it's just gonna be in a week or a month. not a long wait at all. but for some reason, today i feel the distance, and it hurts.

sorry my first blog in forever is so short and so down. but i needed to get that out, and i don't really feel like saying anything else.

as it comes to mind...

hiya, blog!

you're totally not gonna believe this, but i TOTALLY forgot about you today! i've been thinking all about HNS all day! since we record this week and all.

anywho, there'll be a vlog concerning that soon enough anyway. (yes. ANOTHER one! what are you trying to say?)

oh! and i think a silly song today!
Remus and the Lupins - Creepy Mustache by ChelseaIRL

so i've got 25 minutes. yeah, i think i can do this!

so work was ridiculously monotonous. i felt like i was trying to walk waste deep in thick mud. i feel like i accomplished nothing!

so i've been collecting a bunch of potential things to talk about on Thursday. i'm determined to make the first episode of HNS awesome! i'm finding lots of potential material. now i've just gotta wade through it and pick out the best.

random revelation: yesterday, i was changing my status notification thingy on Skype, and it had said something about working on secret projects. and i realized that i might as well just keep it saying that. because i'm always working on one secret project or another lately. which is cool cuz they're all awesome things. but it's weird, too. last year, i was working on nothing.

thinking of last year: guess what besties? i didn't know you last year. is that super-weird or waht? it trips me out every time i think about it.

random craving: i wanna just scroll through the geekery pages of Etsy. i never buy anything there cuz i just can't justify the price (and when i can, i can't justify the shipping), but i just like to look sometimes. i don't get to that point where i compulsively buy like i do with t-shirts.

thinking of t-shirts made me think of how i have too many black ones, made me think of colors, made me think of how i hate purple. well, i don't hate the color itself. in nature it's gorgeous. and it's an ok color as colors go. but when it comes to clothing i won't wear it. i don't know why, i just won't. it used to be me and my mother would be clothes shopping and we would find some really cute top. and i would sigh and say, "but it's purple." so a couple weeks ago, me and my mom were in Target (of all freakin' places, right?!) and we see a cute top, and my MOM sighs and says, "oh, but it's purple." it was SO WEIRD! it was like hearing my own words coming out of her mouth. the same tone and sentiment behind them. just... a weird experience.

sorry for the free association ramble tonight, blog. but sometimes it just goes like that i suppose. especially when your last few blogs have been you, literally half asleep, typing on your phone keyboard. that is NOT good. but hey! i haven't failed BEDA yet! unlike in April. that was just shameful.

ok. now with 10 minutes to spare, i leave you, blog. see you tomorrow!

paradox banal

cue music...
Jem - Save Me by ChelseaIRL
and... ACTION!

so hey, blog! how's it going? ...yeah, yeah, yeah. you're so conceited! all about you! my turn to talk! sheesh!

so, Katie, a friend i met at VidCon, just started vlogging. and in one of her vlogs (the one you will find below), she talks about not really having anything interesting going on and spending most of her time on the computer. and i left a comment that said this (among other things... so yeah ok, i left two comments. don't judge me!):

and don't worry if nothing is going on and you spend all your time online. ((secret: that's almost 100% of vloggers))

like, most of my vlogs, i show one of the shirts in my collection, tell some weird story, or just talk about my day. :)

this comment about the content of my vlogs has got me thinking though. has life in general just gotten less weird, or have i just become numb to it? i mean, surely the world i was in at 18 (the story in my latest vlog) isn't less weird than the world is now. if anything, the opposite must be true. so why don't i have as many weird stories?

well, one of the more obvious reasons that comes to mind is that my chief means of transportation is no longer my feet. another is that i'm far more skilled at deflecting weirdos before they can attempt to engage in conversation. but there must be more to it than that!

also, how is it that most of us vloggers, with all our stories and memes and footage, could have, for the most part, boring and uneventful lives? i mean, shouldn't the people with crazy and exciting lives be vlogging? but then, they don't log countless hours in front of their computers, do they?

i'm just pointing out that it's rather strange and incongruous that those who do so little could have so much to talk about. i mean, tell me the name of just ONE vlogger who, at the end of the day, isn't just a guy/girl alone talking to their camera. school and/or a job, a family, responsibilities. pretty boring. and yet they vlog. and it's watchable! it's a paradox, that's all i'm saying!

ok, blog. i'm gonna go back to my boring life now. :)

back to blog

where did the music go??? blog, i'm sorry!!! i don't... i don't know what happened! i was all, i'm gonna blog! blog, blog, blog. blog, blog, blog. and then i was working on #hotnerdsexy which was released on Thursday, and i had to... what? you DON'T know about #hotnerdsexy?!?

*pretending i'm ok with this* we shall fix this now.

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ok, now that we're all on the same page we can be friends again. ...i mean, we always were friends, yeah.

so now you need FIVE songs! one for today, and to make up for the lack. ready?


Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight by ChelseaIRL


Simple Plan - You Don't Mean Anything by ChelseaIRL


Fall Out Boy - Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying by ChelseaIRL


Home Grown - I Love You, Not by ChelseaIRL


Panic at the Disco - Time To Dance by ChelseaIRL

now, the one by Panic at the Disco is about my favorite Chuck Palahniuk book, "Invisible Monsters." it makes complete sense if you've read that book.
the rest of the songs sound happy, but are actually pretty mean.

also, tell me what you thought of #hotnerdsexy! what did you like? what didn't you like? what should we add? what should we take out? tell me in the comments. or email us! or tweet us.

almost a real blog post

hey blog!

so i can't seem to stop editing stuff long enough to write a proper blog lately! it's ridiculous! but hey! at least it's officially on time tonight! yay! :)
so the pilot episode of #hotnerdsexy is officially upon us. if you havent' already, go listen to the podcast at hotnerdsexy.com subscribe. then follow us (me and Meg) on twitter @hotnerdsexy so you won't miss a thing!

ok, so i've only got two minutes, so i'm gonna go now. full blog tomorrow! :)

half asleep

falling asleep as I type! REAL blog post tomorrow, I PROMISE!!!

cop out

i haven't gone to sleep yet, so this counts as a post on the right day. and now i must go to sleep! good night!

near fail

hiya blog!

did I completely forget about you, and am I now posting in bed from my phone upon remembering you before I fell asleep? you bet I am! improved with this swype thing, haven't I?

ok, g'night blog!

vlogging changed my life, yo!

hey blog!

i nearly forgot about you already! can you believe it??? i know!

hmm... a song... a song... here's one i like!

Nico Vega - So So Fresh by ChelseaIRL

i just love the energy of that song! it's just bursting! oh, and fun fact: i usually am listening to whatever song i put at the top while i write the rest of the blog. bonus fact: i put the song at the top so you can hit play and listen to it while you read.

there is just not enough time in the day, you know that? i didn't even go to work today, and yet it feels like i'm still just as behind as without a day off! too many things to do! :/

i must admit, i'm not in much of a blogging mood, all. but that's because i'm working on my #secretproject right now and i want to be thinking about that, and i can't talk about it here. at least not till Thursday. so...

what shall we talk about blog? oh! we can talk about how i never did post my 5 part VidCon video! i'm kinda at the point that i think no one cares. so, if anyone still actually cares for me to post it, then i'll finish editing it. otherwise it'll just be another thing that sits quietly on my hard drive. there is a small collection of things there. ideas that never came to fruition. poor abandoned videos.

thinking of videos, i really would like to start vlogging more often. i really don't think i do so often enough. especially considering i only have my channel and 7NAP. and 7NAP is never a chore. i mean, sometimes i don't feel like vlogging, but i'd rather do it than not.

i've been thinking a lot about persona lately. reality vs. perception. my goal in my vlogs is always to be what you get in real life in the present realm. because i think that's kind of the hardest thing to achieve in a vlog. an actual, accurate representation of yourself. i mean, we all edit out the worst parts. so you're never really getting the real picture. so my new approach to vlogging is to cut the time of filming. if i want to make a video that's 4 minutes long, then i should record for no longer than 5 minutes. i mean, there are obviously gonna be moments where i pause and such, but overall i want to keep everything i do in. that way you get the real me. so yeah, that's the plan. vlog more often and take less time to do it.

ok, i'm about to get rather corny right now, so just skip the next paragraph if you have a weak stomach, but i really think that VidCon changed me. something about spending three days straight surrounded by people who think like you, like the same things you like, and just generally like being nice to each other... it's like you can't believe such a thing could be possible until you live in it. and it also makes you kind of feel validated in a way. like, so yeah, none of the people that surround you in your present life get you. but there are literally hundreds of people who are just like you, so it doesn't really matter. it's like, "well, you can look at me weird all you want. cuz i know that these other hundred people like what i'm doing." and that confidence is the way i've changed. it's not some HUGE change. i'm not a different person. i'm just a lot more secure about being that person.

a strange, but relevant example is music. i've always been very self-conscious about my musical taste. i really do believe that music says something about what kind of person you are. so i'm kind of afraid that people will judge me if i don't like the right music or something. in other words, before VidCon, i would NEVER have decided to stick songs i like in all of my blogs for a month. i mean, now and then to convey a certain emotion, but EVERY day?! NO WAY! that leaves me way to exposed!!! but now, it's ok.

alright, so now that we've come full circle, i think i can bid you good night, and go back to working on something that you will (hopefully) think is awesome! :)

hear the music, get excited, don't be a douche

hiya blog!

ok, so first i'm going to apologize to Meg, because she is going to hate the sound quality of this song. but Meg, it's indie, ok? just listen to the lyrics!

Vroom - Untitled (I Love You[You Can't Stand Me]) by ChelseaIRL

ok, so... i posted two vlogs today. but hear me out! one was linked to my old channel so that people would know about the new channel. and the other was just, ya know, a vlog. mostly just getting people excited about my secret projects. so now they know one of them has something to do with #hotnerdsexy and that everything will be disclosed on Thursday, but NOTHING else! oh! suspense!!!

i'm gonna keep this up you know? building the hype! :D
but honestly i'm just ridiculously excited about this! and i hope that everyone else will like what i'm working on. cuz, it'll be SOOOO much fun if you do! :D

ok, we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog to bring you "he said, she said." (this JUST happened)

i said (in the comments of PhillyD's latest Vloggity):
i just can't stop looking at the clocks! all those clocks! what TIME ZONE ARE THEY IN?!?

ok. vid over. i'm back. such a creepy casting call! i AM in the LA area, and i am NOT game! creeper! XD

then he said:
The1Ray1W1Johnson: @ChelseaIRL hahaha stupid american. timezones r in 1 hr incriments* or 30 mins if u include pei u learn this in grade 4 those r random times otherwise theyd b mostly pointing to the same minute

so i replied:
@The1Ray1W1Johnson um... i was just joking. it's very obvious that they're random. :/

just because i'm American doesn't mean i'm an idiot. and i don't know where you're from, but you might wanna work on not jumping to conclusions, not being condescending, and not being prejudiced against other nations.

ugh! the nerve of some people! first of all, no sense of humor, so obviously worthless. second of all, i'm American, so you assume i don't know about time zones. and third, i really don't need you to educate me, thanks so much! just... triple threat nerve! in a word: douche.

see, it's moments like these when i forget to be awesome and just want to pass out the poison Kool-Aid.

anywho! so you happen to be listening to one of my favorite songs ever. although i'm not very emo IRL, i do have rather emo musical taste. it's weird and incongruous, i know. and yet, it's fact. i'm especially a sucker for songs such as this that melodically sound rather happy, but the lyrics are so "aw! sad panda!" or are really mean, a la Fall Out Boy. basically when the music conveys one emotion and the lyrics convey another, i love it!

ok. well, i'm sleepy already, blog and i've still got shit to do. so i'll catch you tomorrow! :)

ps. where ARE you Lydia?!? i sent you the thing. email me! or Skype me! or even YouTube me!

no progress

hello blog! check it out! a REAL blog post!

sorry about yesterday, but i had to post my 7NAP video, and i simply didn't have any more time. i mean, BEDA has priority and everything, but 7NAP comes first.

and now for the music! just one long metaphor!
Hellogoodbye - Homewrecker by ChelseaIRL

why this song? other than the fact that it's one long metaphor? because i love Hellogoodbye. and i love this song. and i danced to it (and the rest of the album) before going to sleep last night.

so, the plan for today was to go shopping for a car.

...well. we went shopping.

me and my mother hadn't been to the Body Shop in at least a year. and there was a sale. so we got stuff. let me tell you blog, i smell really good. :)

i also got new blush. i needed some. so.

...you know, my day, overall, has been rather uneventful. and i usually read something or see something that inspires me in some way. but nothing really happened today. and since i don't have anything to tell you, here is my attempt to make up for it:

Chuck Progress

first, i don't like the idea of being tied to one name for this project. plus, the word play is irresistible. i mean, seriously, how can you not call this "Klosterfuck." especially with the gratuitious use of the word (fuck) in the first chapter. so, this is what it will be called today.

Klosterfuck

chapter two covered the parallels of the Sims to real life. not as many lols. still enjoyable. again, i can't get over Klosterman's pessimistic, super-cynical outlook. but if you can sit through the more conceited and condescending of the cynicism, then the payoff (when he gets to the point) is still worth it. so far. i'll keep you posted.

cheated

is this a total cop out? um, yeah. sorry, blog, but 7NAP took precedent. :/
better blog tomorrow!

Jimmy Eat World - Get It Faster by ChelseaIRL

what about your friends

if we can call them friends then we can call them on the telephone
and they won't pretend that they're too busy or they're not alone
and if we can call them friends then we can call
holler at 'em down these hallowed halls
just don't let the human factor fail to be a factor at all
"Tables and Chairs" Andrew Bird

OH! song quote! what? is she gonna play a song by the same artist two days in a row?!?

no, actually. today we're gonna listen to a song that tells a story. eat your heart out, Johnny Cash!

Be Your Own Pet - Becky by ChelseaIRL

so i'm actually writing this before i leave work today. although you're probably not gonna see this posted till way later. why???

well, first of all i have my #secretplans to take care of. then i'm going to the Buffy meet. then i have to do my hair. then, finally, i should have time to put on the finishing touches to this blog and send it off into the blogosphere.

and for the record i LOVE those lines in the quoted song above. and i didn't have friends that fit that description until i started working on the Guide to Nerdfighting and vlogging on 7NAP. not that i didn't have friends before. it's just that they were all very superficial. i know hind sight is 20/20 and all, but man it explains a lot looking back!

anywho, i'm out of time for now. maybe i'll get to add to this later. if not, i hope you enjoy the song. :)

fake quo

so, i'm sure you've noticed that every post so far has had music to go with it. and i'm gonna keep that up, blog. cuz, well, i enjoy it and since this is my blog, we're gonna do what i like. now, you may be saying, "uh-uh! you did NOT have music every day. the other day, day two, you did NOT have music." and this is true. originally that post did not have music. it was supposed to, but SoundCloud wouldn't cooperate, and it was 11:50pm, so i was out of time. but it's there now!

Andrew Bird - Fake Palindromes by ChelseaIRL

oh, i am tired today blog. as much as i would love to ramble on, this is gonna have to be cut short, cuz i think i'm gonna try to actually get a decent amount of sleep tonight. a major step in one of my #secretplans is gonna happen tomorrow! i'm very excited about this. and a little nervous. and i really hope you like it!

oh, and thinking of stuff i haven't told you yet, i made a twitter account called @BEDAlist i'm basically gonna RT all announcements of new posts as well as announce all posts as i notice they've been posted. so if you forget to read a blog or something, there will be a little twitter reminder to help you out. :) this has two purposes: 1) to help everyone read each other's blogs. 2) to make me stay current on everybody's blogs.

if you know anyone who should be on the list and is not, just tweet their Skype name at me and i'll get it sorted.

i'm so tired right now i can't quite think straight. i did NOT get enough sleep last night. and i'm too tired right now to even remember why. and i've got a busy day ahead of me, blog. stupid work is always getting in the way of my life, i swear!

ok, if you've known me for longer than this blog post, then you've see me say that before. what do i mean by that? i do not believe work is your life. exception being if you actually like your job. like, live for what you're doing. otherwise, those 40 hours are just what you do so you can afford the other 128. and it's really not fair cuz about 56 of those 128 real life hours are spent sleeping. so really, give or take a few, you're only getting 56 hours a week of real life. that's not even three days a week! personally, it makes me want to figure out ways to make an independent living or spend less time sleeping. point is, i wanna turn that time table inside out. i want to be getting at least 100 hours a week of real life time. that's about 4 days. i think that's only fair to get most the days of the week. i mean, after all, for all we can really physically prove, this IS the only life we'll be getting a shot at. we don't even know if we'll have any sort of consciousness afterward. and if you ask me, that makes my time just that much more precious here. and more than half of it is being spent working and sleeping. if you ask me, those scales are WAY off kilter.

so there you go. in summary, let there be music, follow @BEDAlist, and disrupt the status quo. "because the status is not quo!" ok, i'm gonna leave you now so i can spend my time sleeping instead of reading, researching, and basically having a nerdy good time.

BONUS CONTENT: if you know Clive at all, then 0:55 will be epic. if you don't know Clive... well i'm not sure we can still be friends. yeah, he's just that awesome.

a walk through hell (aka my current mindset)

hey! hi! hello, blog! whoops! band i haven't gotten around to downloading yet!*

and simply because i REALLY like this song, and because i know Lydia likes it too:
Say Anything - A Walk Through Hell by ChelseaIRL

that right there is a perfect example of what BEDA #3 is going to be like. because i have been all over the place ALL DAY today! and let me tell you ... i just almost wrote twitter. you're not twitter! you're blog! see? that's what i'm talking about! but to actually end that sentence: and let me tell you blog, i am not looking forward to Thursday night/ Friday morning. well, actually quite the contrary. i'm looking forward to it VERY much. the activity that will take place. NOT the sleep i will be losing. i am NOT looking forward to the SLEEP i'll be LOSING. wow, so concise tonight!

why will i be losing sleep, blog? (bet you were hungry for that new paragraph! that last one was SO LONG! sorry.) but why, you ask? well, i just can't tell you that. THAT is one of my secret plans. you will not find out about that until Aug. 12th. so, soon enough!

but wait! she said one of her secret plans! yes! she did! sorry, stuck in third person for a moment there. yes! i did! and i'm sorry, but even i don't know the launch date of that one, so i can't even tease you about that one for now. but believe me, when i DO know the launch date, you will be thoroughly teased! (does anybody else feel just a little bit dirty right now?)

oh, my day! um.... there was work, and talking to Meg, and having troubles with... oh yeah! THAT'S what this blog was supposed to be about!

ok. so, as you may have noticed, (or maybe not depending on when you come across this blog entry) i have not one but TWO comment sections right now. and as such, if everyone would be so kind as to use the one at the bottom, i will GREATLY appreciate it! :)
Disqus (the ones who make said comment section. you know. the bottom one.) caught wind of my bitching on twitter today and asked what was going on. (literally. this is what happened. twitter is a weird and wonderful place.) so i told them. and DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY TOLD ME?!?! <-- gratuitous punctuation which means i think what they told me is ridiculous. in so many words, they said i could either go with my old blog template, or hopefully find a template made by them. SERIOUSLY?!? not, "oh! looks like we need an upgrade. sorry for the inconvenience." nor, "oh dear. let's crack this mystery together!" nor even, the answer i wanted to hear, "oh, the fix is simple! ___put answer in the blank____" but no. the answer was "downgrade, or play the lottery!" please tell me i'm not the only one who finds this answer unacceptable.

and, by the way, at the time of this exchange i did not have two comment sections. oh no. i had ZERO comment sections! two comment sections i can pull off. i can say i'm being avante garde and chic. i can say all the cool kids are doing it. (who the fuck knows what the cool kids are actually doing, anyway?) but NO comment sections can not be slanted as cool, hip, chic, or any other catchy little positive adjective. no, no. NO comment section can only be interpreted as FAIL. which incidentally, is EXACTLY how i feel about Disqus right now. DisqusFAIL!!!!

ok. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to go all ranty. but seriously, that problem did take up significant chunks of my day and isn't even resolved. so, i think you might be able to be just a bit sympathetic to my frustration. and, just for the record, i HATE that sentence. ok, maybe hate is a little strong. but i definitely don't like it, but since i only have 15 minutes to wrap this all up and make it look like i had a plan from the beginning, i don't have time to dwell on it. all i can do is extend my sincere apologies, and assure you that i will try my best to improve in the future.

and just for the record, i seriously considered changing my screen name to "justfortherecord" but a) it was taken and b) it was kinda lengthy. and honestly, all for the best, because i like ChelseaIRL better. :)

and with this i will leave you dear readers. and with this, i am sure you are relieved. good night. or possibly good morning. maybe even good afternoon. frankly i don't really care. either way, i send you a kind farewell and best wishes!

*i would like to acknowledge that that title is ultra dramatic. and that i hate that sentence as well. but with only 3 minutes to spare, i'll deal.

so much to say

just a quick warning before we get started: this blog is gonna jump from topic to topic. sometimes without segue. so don't say i didn't warn you!

01 So Much to Say by ChelseaIRL

first thing's first. because making lists for projects and making twitter accounts is what i do best, i have done two things today. 1) i have made a list of those participating in BEDA. if you are not on the list (and you're participating, of course) then let me know so i can add you! :) 2) as you may or may not have noticed, we have moved house*, blog. same old blog, different address at the top. i have also changed my screen name. i am no longer coolhandjohnny, but am now ChelseaIRL. which means, even online, i am still IRL. paradoxical, and somehow accurate, seeing how the internet has taken over my life. that doesn't sound right. "take over" implies hostility. there was no hostility. i welcome and nurture my internet addiction.

oh yeah! and i guess it isn't quite the "same old blog" either. it looks a bit different. although it looked like this shortly before the move, but you didn't get to see it. sorry for the shock. also, sorry for the next shock in advance. this change is (hopefully, though not for certain due to my procrastination) temporary. i plan to make it a little more me and a little less i got this out of the blog template box.

some of you may have seen my tweet about how i was going to blog about how much i hate my work computer. well, as promised, we've arrived at that part of the blog. there is a special place in hell for the computer i use at my place of work. and since i don't even believe in hell, that's saying a lot. it is the SLOWEST thing ever. the only thing more annoying than trying to surf online with the thing (especially with multiple tabs) is trying to actually do my work. it takes FOREVER for any of the programs to initially open. and it usually takes a while to switch between programs. and since switching between programs is almost all i do (Word-Excel-AdobeAcrobat-Excel-Acrobat-Excel-Word-etc.) it is VERY annoying. one day i should vlog it simply so you can fully appreciate the extent of my frustrations. seriously, i loathe that computer.

so i'm still dieting more or less. i eat actual solid food now, but i stay away from carbs like the plague. my slimmer thighs, hips and waistline thank me for it. i'm sorry for not bringing on the full-blast disclosure, but i just felt like it needed to be this thing that no one had their judgement or opinion on. just something i was doing for me. so i still have next to no sugar and very, very little carbs. so i mostly eat meat and vegetables. i still have a shake for breakfast and for lunch during the week. but on the weekends i just eat whenever i get hungry. which usually goes: i should eat breakfast but i'm not hungry - don't eat - not hungry - don't eat - not hungry - don't eat - not hungry - randomly freaking starving!!! rush to the kitchen for some leftover something (within the bounds of my diet, of course) - don't eat - not hungry - a little hungry, but i can't be bothered - etc. etc. - dinner. if i could eat like that every day, you would know how i ate all through high school and college and know why i was skinny! also, i walked around more (ya know, classes and such).

something i notice about blogging, especially being the old veteran to BEDA i am now, is blog snobbery. don't worry, i'm fairly certain that the one i was snobbish about won't read this, so if you are in fact reading this, you can rest assured i'm not talking about you. <-- that's what we call a disclaimer. so anyway, i was reading someone's first BEDA, and i looked at the design and thought "seriously?" i mean, just looking at it REALLY did put me off wanting to read it. but i did. and honestly it wasn't a bad blog. but it's design just hurt my feelings and i did not want to read it. my brain was literally coming up with other things to do while i was reading. very bad. side note, while we're on the ranty part of the blog, i am REALLY sick of the "love" tweets i've been seeing lately. you're going out with someone. it's great. and i'm happy for you. but for god's sake do i really need to hear about it no less than three times a day? once every few days, sure. but multiple times a day? seriously??? ugh! so that concludes our blogging adventure for today. unless you're gonna read the footnotes. i mean, you can skip them if you want. they're only footnotes. supplements, if you will. it won't take away from the blog if you don't read them. and really, there's only one today, so it won't be a big deal. so this is probably the end for you, in which case, i bid you goodnight. even if it's morning or mid-afternoon. no matter what time you're reading this, night will eventually come, and i wish you a good one. i'll see the rest of you in the footnotes.**



*they say "moved house" in the UK. it always makes me giggle.

**if you're reading the footnotes, you're probably the type to have noticed that i said there was only one footnote, but that there are actually two. well that's because this one's just for you! thank you for taking the time to read my footnotes. i really do appreciate it! you're so much more awesome than those losers who checked out after the last paragraph. posers. you're my real friends. <3

and so it begins...

hey, Blog! fancy meeting you here!

(it's random, but it's from my favorite band and is absolutely ridiculous. as is this blog. well, it's not from my favorite band... you know what i mean!)
Hellogoodbye - Welcome to My Record [GM OG Mix] by coolhandjohnny

so here we are, doing that BEDA thing again, except this time the A stands for August. why am i doing this you ask? well clearly i didn't get enough torture the last time!!!

seriously though, i'm doing this because i got to know my friends better doing this project. and even more of them are doing it this time which means it's going to be even better! also, i kind of failed last time. ...well, i did fail last time. there were days i forgot to post or posted late, and this time i wanna do it right! so here's to 30 more days of this! :)

oh, and you may notice the lack of snazzy countdown counter. i thought i was gonna do one, but then realized, last minute, that i just couldn't be bothered and would rather work on my secret projects which are discussed (cryptically) herein.

so i think we should start out seeing what i'm doing today and now, and then comparing notes on the 31st. that's one of my out of thin air ideas, so theoretically, it should work.

right now i'm working on two relatively secret projects with my friends Meg and Lydia. (who are also doing BEDA and who are pretty much the only people who read my blog.) hi guys! or i should say ladies. but i won't because that just is getting way too PC and i was just going for an informal greeting. digression!!! so yeah, relatively secret projects. "relatively" because Meg knows about me and Lydia's project, and a small handful of people (such as Lydia) know about me and Meg's project. but only I know all the details of BOTH! muahahahaha!

ok, not a big deal, but hey! how often do you get to pull out the evil laughter??? right?

also, i'm trying to talk myself into paying for LeakyCon right now. it's in Orlando next year. first day is my birthday. so i could LEGITIMATELY make it my birthday present for next year. however, i don't have the money for it at the moment. well, i mean TECHNICALLY i COULD pay for it now. but that's just generally a BAD idea. the con itself isn't the price i'm worried about. it's the hotel stay. and LeakyCon's forum doesn't have a roommate section like VidCon's did. :( oh, nerd dilemmas!

and next summer is going to be a VERY expensive summer that i'm going to have to start saving now for. there's VidCon, and ComicCon, and SitC. SitC obviously being the most expensive as it will include a flight and hotel stay in London. ComicCon will require a hotel stay in San Diego. and VidCon, even if it's in LA again, will require a hotel stay. plus the cost of the cons themselves. so now, thinking about investing in LeakyCon... i just don't know. cuz i'm already determined to go to the other three. Also, i have to book the hotel now. and that's the most expensive part! i just don't have the money to pay for that part right now. the flight and the con yes. the hotel, no. if it were the other way around, i'd do it. but it's not. ALSO, i'm planning on buying a car soon. car payments + insurance = EXPENSIVE. so, don't exactly have the funds to be shelling out for expensive hotels in Orlando at the moment. :( #nerddilemma

wow, did i just devote not one, but TWO paragraphs to cons that are happening NEXT YEAR! yeah, i'm just gonna pass that one off as #hotnerdsexy. a term i invented two weeks ago. more on that in blogs to come.

for now, i leave you! and considering how long this thing has gotten, i think you're probably glad. #relief #thankgodshestoppedtyping or, if you're Lydia, #thanknoentityinparticularidon'tbelieveinthatshitshestoppedtyping

#nerdjokes

this is a quickie folks. so here's what just happened:

back story (so that this makes sense): i pass out a terabyte external hard drive to every one of the engineers every Thursday so they can back up their data.

my coworker comes in, and he tilts the drive a bit before he sets it down on my desk. then he says, "oops! i spilled some data there!" #nerdjokes #soawful #ilawled

and that concludes our quickie. i hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

chuck progress

so last time dear friends, we talked about how i pretty much always act on my random impulse ideas. how sometimes they're great, like #hotnerdsexy, and sometimes they're bad like blogging my progress of two Chuck Klosterman books. but as they're both impulse ideas, they're both coming to fruition.
so here's how the progression of Chuck, or my Chuck Progress* as i'm calling it, is going to work. we're coming up on Blog Every Day in August, and i'm sure no one, including myself wants to read/write an entire blog about a potentially boring and unbloggable book every day. so we're going to do this blog thing as normal, and then , occasionally (when i actually have time to read), in a section of it's own, will be the Chuck Progress. this way, you can skip it with ease if you wish, i get to continue with my suicide mission, and everybody's happy. :)
so, with no further ado:

Chuck Progress

The first thing you will notice is the text is saturated in the word fuck. the next thing you will notice is that it's rather funny. a bit pompous... no shamelessly pompous, just shy of annoying, which makes it tolerable long enough to be funny and even relevant.
--god, sometimes i really like listening to myself talk (write). honestly, so far, it's a bit pessimistic. very "why bother cuz you'll never find true happiness." and i'm, well, far too optimistic to really buy into any of it. but i will say it's entertaining, and does occassionally fall upon pearls of truth. for the record: i'm on page 4.

quotes:

"The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy."

"If Woody Allen had never been born, I'm sure I would be doomed to a life of celibacy."



* i'm calling this project "Chuck Progress" for 2 reasons. 1) the obvious. it's following my progress through Chuck Klosterman books. 2) i think it's clear that i have no real faith in this project and therefore believe that it may in fact end up hindering progress. so, we'll take it by it's other meaning. throw out progress. as in, throw it into the trash. as in, might as well since you'll get equally far either way.

bad idea

sometimes project ideas are gradual. they start with an inspiration. whatever the thing is that inspired you is, you think about it and you think about it. you analyze and you discuss and you develop. and then you finally have this plan.
sometimes project ideas just hit you. they're random. they're completely undeveloped. you're not even sure how you are going to do them, or if you even WANT to do them. but like magic, almost as though they've been introduced by someone else, they're there. in your head. and if you're me, you do them.

Amazon likes to suggest things to you. at first it's kind of annoying. but if you think about it (and you happen to find marketing fascinating!) then you find that it's rather genius. every suggestion is based on what YOU LIKE. so it's very likely that buying what they suggest is a good idea.

i'm stubborn. the more i'm told to do something, the less likely i am to do it, and more apt to drag my feet about it. if something is popular and everyone is doing it (society telling me to do something) i run away from it. if my mother says i should do something, i fight it... or do it later. homework, school, whatever, apply this to EVERYTHING, and you have my reaction to ANYTHING. and, to make it worse, despite the fact that i know this system doesn't work, or at least it works very poorly, i do it anyway. because i'm stubborn.

so Amazon has been suggesting books by author Chuck Klosterman for years. literally. i've been stubbornly ignoring this suggestion for a LONG time. but while walking down a random aisle in the library, as i like to do, i came across a couple of his books. literally, there were two lone Chuck Klosterman books sitting among a sea of other authors. (we're gonna ignore for a moment that TWO books in a SEA of other books is hardly "lone" just this once, ok? stay with me!) since i recognized the name instantly from seeing it thrown at me for so many years, i finally caved and decided to pick them up.

i mentioned my happenstance with these books, and a few people expressed interest in me letting them know how it went. you know, the reading of the books.

VidCon is this thing where 1400 people who make and watch videos on YouTube, as well as a few of the people who run YouTube, went to go celebrate the wonderfulness of each other much like a giant hippy orgy, but with all of the physical contact and none of the nudity or sex. yeah. awesome.

preparing for VidCon, going to VidCon, then recovering from VidCon left NO TIME for beginning, or even remembering Chuck Klosterman books, the library, Amazon, or my family. hence, i just picked up "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs" for the first time today.

i got through the preface. i didn't know it was a preface. it was sneaky and unmarked! but i read it. and nearly the very moment after i had read it, i got my idea. (i say nearly because DIRECTLY after reading it, i ran head first into the table of contents and realized i'd just read a preface! so this is afterward.) i'm going to blog my progress.

this may very easily be the worst and most boring idea i've EVER come up with. but, as i said in the beginning of this blog, when those sudden, possibly implanted by a mutant being or alien ideas come into my head, i just do them. and this is one of those. so i'm doing it. i will probably give up. but that's part of the fun.

i am also going to note that i recognize this as a BAD and STUPID idea directly before Blog Every Day in August, but we're doing it anyway!

oh, and for the record, i liked the preface. despite it's devious and misleading nature.

walk in my old shoes

so i just came in from lunch. late. because i was at a really good part in the book. well, all the parts are good. but that's beside the point.

the point is this. i gathered my things. i kept reading. i stood up. i kept reading. i turned around and walked to the door. i kept reading. and it was at this point that i didn't stop reading, but i had a feeling i haven't felt in years. i suddenly remembered ages 10-19, literally walking around reading. i would wake up and start reading. i would brush my teeth reading. i would walk through school hallways, dodging people, reading. i would even shower, with the door partly ajar, book propped on the toilet, towel nearby so i could turn pages with a dry hand. on the weekends, when i didn't have to sleep, i wouldn't. i would just keep reading.

and then, suddenly, that stopped. i don't know when it stopped. i can't mark the time or place. i just stopped reading like i used to. in fact, i stopped reading good old fashioned books in their booky form completely. e-books, and audio books as of late. but no sitting down with bound paper.

and this has bugged me. i mean, it really has bugged me. but it's one of those things that just nags at the back of your head and you just keep saying, "yes, later. yes, later." and sometimes i actually stop and feel a little ashamed, cuz i can't actually pinpoint when later will actually be.

and then today. that moment. that JUST happened.

...

i was me. i didn't even realize i hadn't been until i was again.

two rules: clever, not stupid

blog, i have just experienced an epiphany: i, like John Green's Will Grayson, live by two rules. not nearly as drastic as his "shut up, and don't care," but easily just as ridiculous.

1. don't be stupid.

2. be clever.

i know what you're thinking. "seriously, Chelsea? you should really consider condensing that list to the ONE item that it is." but hear me out.

i had this epiphany in the printer room. as i was waiting for my print, i was thinking about how i would need to tell my coworker why there would be pages missing. i thought it would be clever to say that they had been "eliminated from existence" and i was working out the wording of this particular bit of cleverness, when i realized that i was working out the wording of this particular bit of cleverness. you wouldn't believe how much time in my life is spent working out the wording, and the general presentation of bits of cleverness. which lead me to also realize how much time i dedicate to not being stupid.

so first, and this is the most important one: don't be stupid. i don't mean, book-learned don't be stupid. anyone can be book-smart and still be a moron. i mean don't say or do anything that could be perceived as stupid. don't show insecurities, or weaknesses, or ignorance. in fact, don't enter into situations you don't know much about... well, ever.

and second: be clever. at any time you can possibly think of something clever and/or witty to say, say it. if it's not clever or witty, it's probably best unsaid. and since it's a little weird to be a mute, this means that most things i say have to be, on some level, witty or clever. this means most things that come out of my mouth are "tried and true" or are rehearsed in my head (granted, a quick rehearsal, but a rehearsal all the same). "tried and true" statements are things i've said before and have gone over well. most things i say are just a slightly tweaked version of a "tried and true." everything else gets a quick once over in my head. i always had something clever to retort. i never needed to pause long enough to be perceived as stupid.

the really crazy bit is i'm actually not as big on my two rules as i used to be. once upon a time, before entering social situations, i would think of the stories i might tell. and i would think of all the different reactions people could have. and i thought of all the clever things i could say to each different reaction. if people only knew that i was just saying lines. a moment to think about it wasn't thinking, it was a timed pause. their honest reactions were just my cues. a laugh - say this. challenge my remark - shoot back with the counterpoint.

one of the major problems with thinking of every possible reaction someone could have to whatever you say is that you're never surprised by anything. no conversation is original cuz you've already played it out in your head. after a while, conversation gets VERY boring. it's no wonder i've always had a small group of friends. it's only after a while of rehearsed conversations that i ever feel comfortable enough to be "spontaneous" and go improv.

now, again i say i'm not as big on my two rules as i used to be. but then it's very easy to "not be stupid" and "be clever" on the fly when you've already been doing it for over 10 years. in other words, i'm not as into them because i don't HAVE to be into them. nowadays i can coast on autopilot.

and for the record, just because i'd had my epiphany about cleverness, doesn't mean i didn't walk right up to my coworker and spit out my clever line, executed with the timing that only years of practice can provide. it was an epiphany, not an inspiration.

however, i have been inspired to try very hard at VidCon, the biggest social event i'll be involved in all year, to leave my rules behind. from Thursday night to Sunday night, for 72 hours, i'm going to put my script away, not even "improv," just say the genuine thoughts that come to my head. no flash rehearsals.

so... i'll let you know how that goes.

((NOTE: ironically, since the universe never misses the chance at a good laugh, the preview function for my blog isn't working. i almost ALWAYS find mistakes while looking at the preview view. what this means is that i can't properly do the editing that keeps me from looking stupid and occasionally allows me to seem witty and clever. classic.))