oops!

when you're sitting at a stop light, minding your own business, and a pick-up truck plows into the back of your car, this is what it looks like.


so kids, don't try this at home. or anywhere else either. cuz it's not fun. :/

creeper

my manager is a creeper.

he knocks on the door at 9 pm. me and my mom exchange glances. i answer the door and he says, "can you move your car over a bit?"
so i think mom must have parked really crooked and the neighbor must be sitting down there stuck. so i say, "ok, i'll move it now." he just stands there. and i shut the door. he starts talking as the door closes.
my mom is like, "put on a sweater and cover yourself." since i'm not wearing a bra.
i don't think it's necessary, but i put on a sweater and some shoes and he's WAITING FOR ME in the elevator. and i'm thinking, that's weird. and i'm so glad i listened to my mom. and i wrap the sweater around me. and like, what? are you making sure i really do go move my car? why are you here?
the neighbor was not there. her car was parked. our car was crooked. but not even as bad as it's been before. i get in and straighten the car out. this is a simple enough task. or at least it would have been if the manager hadn't been STANDING BEHIND MY CAR!
he would call himself "guiding me." i had to ignore what he was saying completely and just try to make sure i didn't hit him. i straightened out, but i wanted to move further away from my neighbors car. i put the car in reverse and had to wait while the manager crossed behind my car. then he stood in the space i needed to pull closer to the left.
then he wanted to chatterbox back to my floor on the elevator.
so, my neighbor was parked and didn't need me to straighten the car out. he just wanted to... what? i don't know what the fuck that was about.
he is ALWAYS being inappropriate! i could give a million examples right now, but i don't want this to turn into a full-fledged rant. :/

a rant

this is not a "my feelings are hurt" rant. this is not a "it's unfair" rant. this is a "why am i stuck with a fucking child as a boss" rant.

not boss 1 (thank god!) or the youngest, boss 3. but boss 2, boss 1's brother.

father and son are out of town, thus leaving me only with boss 2. this already makes me go, "ugh!" but that is not the problem.

it is boss 2's birthday today. as with everyone's birthday, he got a cake. one of my other co-workers is notorious for taking a large slice of cake and sometimes returning for seconds. just to be a dick (though i'm sure if you hear his version it was to be funny) boss 2 waited to cut the first slice, just to make said co-worker wait. we're setting the stage here mind you. the rant is about to begin.

so he finally does cut the cake, and presents the first piece to my office mate. and she says, "the first piece? i feel special." and boss 2 says, "you are special, (name here)." it's not that he did something nice. it's that he does these things and is specifically not nice to me. ever. and it is punctuated by how whenever ANYONE ELSE does nice things, they always do them for each of us. ALWAYS.

some days he just comes in and says, "good morning, (name here)!" with extra vigor. then doesn't even look at me. but this one took extra effort. and i just have to say:

seriously? what are you trying to get out of this? what is the goal? cuz honestly, the only thing you're achieving is me wanting (even more) to be far away from you. if you have some problem with me, i don't have control over it, and you need to sort it out.

it's just so annoying to have to work with someone like this. and it's not like i can just avoid him entirely (as i would like to) because he's a boss. ugh! and he NEVER takes a day off! i hope something happens so that i only work in the back and don't have to be in the front office and deal with him. he's such a vile person!

...you know what? from now on, we shall refer to him as "douche master." i don't expect he'll be appearing in my blog very often, but when he does, "douche master" shall be his name.

personal swarm

i don't like eating lunch at work. i drive around the block, park in the shade, and eat my lunch in my car. then i listen to a podcast, or read, or talk on the phone, whatever.

it's rather hot today so i rolled my windows down to catch the breeze. so i'm eating my lunch when a bee starts trying to get into my car. i close my windows, making it immediately 10 degrees hotter in the car and wait for a full minute for the bee to lose interest. it's nearly boiling by the time i get to open my window again.

it's not thirty seconds before another bee comes and takes its full minute to try to bake me alive. but it finally loses interest too, and i roll my windows down again.

the car hasn't had a chance to cool back down completely before a hornet turns up. while i'm waiting for the hornet to leave, more bees show up. all the while it's getting hotter in the car.

a mail truck, a vehicle with no doors, is parked a little ways down the street. it's been there a few minutes and i see the mail carrier casually get out and walk to the back of the truck. which communicates to me that he is NOT being plagued by a handful of bees and hornets. this is an isolated incident.

i give up and drive back to work. :(